Acting Outside the Stereotype Gets You More Dates When You're Online Dating
Some argue that although online dating largely maintains gender roles, this actually works to the advantage of those willing to break away from such roles.
One example of how disrupting the stereotypical behavior in online dating can lead to success occurs when women actively seek contact with potential dates rather than waiting. Dr. Kreager, Associate Professor of Sociology at Pennsylvania State University, and his colleagues argue in an academic study* that women who contact first are "more than twice as likely [...] to result in a connection" than men are. This leads to the conclusion that women are more successful if they initiate conversation online and thereby defy a traditional gender stereotype.
Wired magazine conducted their own study in 2014 by pulling massive amounts of data from online dating services Match and OkCupid and analyzing for trends in the data of users' profiles. They reached the conclusion that the users rated most attractive by other users often contain words in their profiles that play against gender stereotypes rather than to them. For example, women who mention "electronics" in their profiles are among the ones rated most attractive, while men who mention it are ranked below average. Men who mention "weddings" fare far better than women who did, and it is much better for women to mention "The Matrix" than it is for men.
People with this perspective argue that a "vocal contingent" of either gender are more interested in "complication and subtlety than [...] brute stereotypes." However, it is worth noting that the results of that informal study did not look at the entire profile of those users rated most attractive. It's possible that women who love electronics are only considered attractive if they enjoy yoga too. Even so, it doesn't seem to hurt users' chances if they add details about themselves that act against their gender's stereotypes.
Christie Hartman says in her blog that, as an online dater, not only does she find it interesting to learn that someone does not conform to a gender stereotype, she also believes it important to find out if he or she will openly lay claim to making that choice. Such a choice signals self-confidence, that the user is comfortable enough with him or herself to show non-stereotypical interests. A decision of that kind also suggests that, perhaps, the person they are seeking to connect with is "more open-minded and able to see things from the other [person's] point of view." Hartman argues that this ability is vital for a successful relationship and thus will be perceived as more attractive.
*Kreager, Derek A., Shannon E. Cavanagh, John Yen, and Mo Yu. ""Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" Gendered Interactions in Online Dating." Journal of Marriage and Family 76.2 (2014): 387-410. Wiley Online Library. Web.